The Shopping Mama

He Said WHAT? Stuff My Kid Says

by Kate on June 20th, 2010 | 5 Comments | Life, Parenting

It’s been a while since I’ve posted about the crazy things my 3 year old says. But, lately? The little nuggets of goodness that come from his brain have been too good to ignore. Enjoy!

Drawing on the Wall

So even when my son refuses to nap I try to make encourage him to take quiet time in his room to read books to his little stuffed friends or lay on his bed and chill out. Some days it turns into a real nap and others it’s a colossal failure. Case in point: this past Wednesday.

After nearly 30 minutes of silence coming from the bedroom, I was convinced Preschool Boy had fallen asleep. I was wrong. He walked out, talked me into sharing a bite of my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and then the following conversation occurred.

Boy: Um, mom. I did something bad in my room.

Me: What did you do?

Boy (in the sweetest sing songy voice ever): I drew all over my waaaalllll. And my windowsiiiiillllll. I’m sorry I did dat. I made a lot of mistakes in my room.

Luckily, he drew all over the wall and windowsill with pencil so it was easy to wash off. He couldn’t resist buttering me up (probably after more Peanut Butter Cup, the little sneak) by being sweet while we cleaned the wall.

Boy: Mom, we make a good team.

Me: We make a better team doing crafts at the table where you’re supposed to draw.

And, then, as I was packing up the cleaning gear to leave the room he said: Um, mom. There’s more down dere.

Mom Jeans

Like lots of other little folks, my son wants to dress himself nearly every day. Sometimes I let him. Lately? He wants to put on jeans. In the middle of summer in Florida. But, when we’re in the house, I let him. The funny part? He calls his jeans “MOM JEANS.” HA! So the other day he put on “Mom Jeans” in the middle of the afternoon and then insisted I call him “Mama Lara.” (Mama’s Note: The mom of one of his best friend’s is named Lara.) He went on to be extremely endearing as he played mom to his little sister.

Trip to Outer Space

Boy: Mom, I really want to plan ahead and go on a baycaytion. (Mama’s Note: He says “plan ahead” because he keeps asking to go to Disney World and I explain that’s a special vacation that requires planning ahead.)

Me: Where do you want to go on vacation?

Boy: Well, I want to go to outer space on baycation. I think we should take a break from da Earse and go on baycaytion in da sky.

Me: Huh. That’s a good idea. But, how will we get to outer space? We need a spaceship.

Boy: We can take an airplane. I’ll ask dada to borrow and airplane from da Air Forse to go to outer space. What’s da best airplane to go to outer space, Mom?

Me: I really don’t know. You’ll have to ask your dad which plane is the best for getting to outer space.

And, believe you me, as soon as his dad got home from work that day, my son grilled him about the best airplane to get to outerspace.

Sweet Mother's Day Gifts from My Son

by Kate on May 8th, 2010 | 5 Comments | Life

I was brought to tears when I picked up my son at school on Thursday. And this time it wasn’t because his teacher had to tell me about his bad behavior. On this day, it was happy tears. I was the lucky recipient of the cutest Mother’s Day crafts and card.

And on the back was this sweet poem (that I’ve seen before, but it still gets me every time).

Sometimes I might upset you
Just because I’m small
By leaving fingerprints of mine
On a table, chair or wall.

But every day I grow a bit
And I’ll be big one day
When all my tiny fingerprints
Have long been cleaned away.

So keep these prints of my two hands
To help you to recall
Just how big my fingers were
That time when I was small.

In addition, because of the thoughtfulness of one mama, I have a sweet photo of my little guy making his handprint craft. Yes, one awesome mom spent her morning in the classroom taking pictures of all the kids making their cards so she could print them and making little cards for the other moms. I aspire to be that thoughtful.

And then just when I was feeling sentimental I got a few laughs from the “interview” with my son about me. It was put together in a little book that included his interpretation of “Mommy & Me” (which I’m pretty sure his teacher actually did because it was stick people and he only scribbles) and another special telltale scribble drawing just for me.

Here’s the interview {with my reaction}:

How old is your Mommy? “22 – I really don’t know.”
{Why thank you, darling!}

What color is her hair? “Silver.”
{What! I thought I was doing a good job of plucking those random grays.}

What color are her eyes? “Blue.”
{Have you ever looked at me, son?}

What is her favorite thing to eat and drink? “Pizza; water and coke, too.”
{Got me there.}

What is your favorite thing your mom cooks for you? “For lunch she cooks me grilled cheese – I like that!”
{I totally owe you not saying Pop-Tarts or Tinkerbell Fruit Snacks.}

What is your favorite thing to do with your mom? “Sometimes I help her cook.”
{That answer makes all your “help” totally worth it.}

How do you know your mom loves you? “She gives me hugs and kisses.”
{And then the happy tears returned.}

Happy early Mother’s Day! I hope you receive something that makes your day.

Three is the New Two

by Kate on April 23rd, 2010 | 5 Comments | Life, Parenting

I’ve heard the rumor that “3 is worse than the terrible twos.” And that is certainly true in my house. Yesterday it was confirmed.

I thought I had to worry about my daughter biting everyone and causing trouble at school this summer, but turns out it’s my son causing problems. When I picked him up from school, instead of running to me like he normally does, his teacher picked him up and gave me a subtle “Come here, we need to talk” nod. Uh oh.

His teacher said, “What do we need to tell your mom today?”

Preschool Boy, with a giant grin on his face, “I have a bad abbitude.”

No I didn’t misspell that. He insists the word is “abbitude.” It was cute and endearing when he was tattling on other children (“So and so has a bad abbitude.”). But when he’s ratting on himself? Not so cute.

Anyway, his teacher proceeded to tell me that both of the teachers in the classroom has noticed increasingly negative behavior from my son. She said he throws tantrums, pounds his fists on the floor and the table and the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he screamed, “NO!” when the teacher asked him to use the bathroom. {cue my weeping mama tears}

The truth is, he’s been increasingly difficult at home so I’m not all that surprised. I’m just disappointed. I was hoping that Preschool Boy was laying on the charm and being his sweet self at school while saving his tantrums for home. I want my kid to be liked. I want him to be kind and thoughtful and well behaved.

Obviously I’m glad the teacher talked to me. We can now use the same language and be consistent when dealing with his tantrums and “bad abbitude.” It’s just upsetting to learn that he’s causing trouble at school and disappointing them. I will love him no matter how poorly he behaves, but other people are less forgiving. I know this is probably wrong, but I’d really like him to be the teacher’s pet and not the troublemaker. And, in my head he was the teacher’s pet. It hurts my heart a little bit to learn he’s not.

So I’ll read up on the mind of three year old and how to handle temper tantrums. And I will hope his teachers have patience and love and that this is only a phase. A short one.

Bad Hair Cut. And Then We Shaved It.

by Kate on March 7th, 2010 | 5 Comments | Life, Parenting

Why is it impossible to get a good boy’s hair cut? We’ve taken our son to every hair cutting option in town – from the kiddie hair cut place to the barber on base to an adult hair stylist. And without fail, every single time within a couple hours we realize the hair is uneven, and all kids of jacked up. It’s so frustrating. Seriously, why is it impossible to get a good young boy’s hair cut?

We had Preschool Boy’s hair cut today. Needless to say, it didn’t go well. It kind of looked cute. Until you looked closely and noticed it was uneven in the front, longer on one side and completely uneven in the back. From one angle he looked straight out of the show The Monkeys. Sad.

So, my husband suggested (again) that we just shave my son’s hair. Avoid the drama of an actual hair style involving scissors and shaping and just shave it. And, for reasons that currently escape me, I agreed. Yes, we shaved my son’s hair.

Before I show you the pictures, let’s take a brief look at what once was.

August 2008

March 2009

February 2010

And now….

March 2010

I made a video to mark the occasion. And, I apologize, there are some technical issues and the sound is a little off. It makes all of us sound like chipmunks. I should also apologize to my son because I’m sure my shock at the (lack of) length of his hair was more traumatizing than the actual hair cut itself.

So, please, take pity on me and tell me it’s not that bad.

Random Video: Our “Abenture”

by Kate on January 29th, 2010 | 5 Comments | Life

A quick little video so you can see Preschool Boy’s silly talking in all its glory. Although, this video is just cute and not crazy (like when he wanted to play “let’s roll the baby off the bed“).

The background story: Preschool Boy, Toddler Girl and I went for a walk on some trails near our house. Preschool Boy was very concerned with what his “dada” would say when he returned home to find us missing on our “abenture”. I tried to explain that his dad is out of town and wouldn’t be home for a week or two so we’d be home safe and sound long before he returned home. For some reason, this was unacceptable and Preschool Boy wanted to role play what his dad would say. And it’s just so darn cute. I mean, imagining his dad would say, “Hey! Where’d my boy go?” Oh. So. Sweet.

He Said What? Preschool Talk Vol 3

by Kate on January 7th, 2010 | 5 Comments | Life, Parenting

He Said What Crazy Toddler Talk My little peach has been on a tear lately. Thankfully, some of the craziness that comes out of his mouth is funny because some of it? Not so funny. He is so darn defiant lately. And, being that he is now 3 and fiercely independent it will come as no shock to hear that the phrase he now says most frequently is, “I can do it all by myself.” But, actually, it usually goes more like this, “Noooooo. I can do dit all by myzelllllffff!!”

Here are some other great things my little man has said recently.

Drink Away the Blues

We were packing and preparing to leave my mom’s house after spending a week with her for the holidays. My mom cuddled with Preschool Boy and talked about how she was going to miss him.

My mom: I’m really going to be sad when you leave and I’m going to miss you. My house is going to be really quiet tomorrow, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Preschool Boy: Have a drink.

My mom: What?

Preschool Boy: When yer sad tomorrow has a drink of juiz or somezing.

It didn’t end there. The next morning Preschool Boy mentioned that his “Sasa” was going to drink some juice to feel better. And then a day or two later on the telephone he asked my mom if she had a drink to feel better.

Um, where in the word did he learn that the way to drown sorrows is to HAVE A DRINK? I assure you he did not learn that from me. And frankly, if he did, I’d be drowning in something a little stiffer than juice. Just sayin’. Caffeine at a minimum.

Potty Talk

As if the little subject line just up there wasn’t obvious enough, consider yourself warned there’s some bathroom talk coming up.

When Preschool Boy first started going on the potty he was obsessed with staring in the toilet when he was finished to, um, check out all he’d accomplished. The following conversation occurred after going poop on the potty.

Preschool Boy: Look, I made a family!

Me: Huh?

Preschool Boy: Zer’s two in der.

Me: Huh?

Preschool Boy: A big one and a wittle won. A mama and a baby. I made a family!

I’m so proud.

And, his interest with bodily functions continues. Last night, we were hanging out and playing. He passed some gas. I don’t remember my exact words, but I asked him what the sound was.

Me: What was that?

Preschool Boy: I farted. **lots of giggles**

Me: Say, “Excuse me.” And, holy cow, that stinks!

Preschool Boy: **more giggles** I like farts. Fart is my favorite.

Me: Oh, dear.

Have you missed a He Said What? post? Click to check out all the crazy things my kid says. (I promise he talks about more than bodily functions.)

He Said WHAT? Toddler Talk Volume 2

by Kate on December 17th, 2009 | 5 Comments | Life, Parenting

He Said What Crazy Toddler Talk One of these days I’m going to need to catch some of my little man’s gems on video so you can really enjoy his crazy talk in all its glory.

For now, enjoy the latest installment of He Said WHAT?

Big Helper

I asked Toddler Boy to help me carry something into his classroom this morning. He looked at me with a very serious tone, like he was helping me write the Declaration of Independence rather than carry a backpack, and said, “Yes, mama. I will help. I can do an excellent job. I AM an excellent job.”

Princess Play

This is an oldie but goodie. As part of exploring pretend play and developing his imagination, Toddler Boy often assigns the family different characters. When we went to Disney it was like heaven for him – we were different characters in his little play every day. One day while at Disney we were all princesses. Here are the names we were assigned by Toddler Boy:

Toddler Boy: “Aurora”
My mom: “Cindawellwa”
Me: “Belle”
My Husband: “Prince Charmy”
Baby Girl: “Princess Castle Sidewalk”

Seriously, “Princess.Castle.Sidewalk.” And, if we didn’t call her that, he would sternly correct us and remind us of her proper pretend name “Princess Castle Sidewalk.”

So what crazy stuff has your little one said lately?

If you enjoyed this post, check out He Said WHAT? Volume 1.

He Said WHAT? Toddler Talk Volume 1

by Kate on December 10th, 2009 | 5 Comments | Life, Parenting

He Said What Crazy Toddler Talk Welcome to a new feature on The Shopping Mama – He Said WHAT? Here’s the deal: like most toddlers my son says ri-dic-ulous things. Like crazy funny things. And I’m always thinking, “I really need to write that down.” So now I”m writing it down and sharing it with you.

Here are some recent gems out of the mouth of my babe.

The Rolling Game

On Saturday my husband, Toddler Boy and Baby Girl were laying on our bed and hanging out. Sounds innocent enough, right?

Toddler Boy: Dada, let’s play a game.
Husband: What do you want to play?
Toddler Boy: Let’s roll Baby Girl off the bed.
(Not that it’s better or worse, but we have a very tall bed.)
Husband: Um, don’t you think she would get hurt if she fell off the bed.
Toddler Boy: Let’s find out!

Dinner Table Talk

I made some beef stew (for the first time ever, by the way, and it was good) and my husband put A-1 sauce on it. Ew, right? He puts freaking condiments on everything. Anyway, he wanted me to try it. I resisted and said “No, thanks.” Husband said, “Just try it.” To prove a point to Toddler Boy, I did. A few moments later, Toddler Boy was eating a fruit bar.

Toddler Boy: Mama, want to try this fruit?
Me: No, thanks. I know what it tastes like. It’s yummy and it’s yours.
Toddler Boy: C’mon, mama, jus’ try it.
Me: No, thanks.
Toddler Boy: Mom, try one bite. It won’t kill you.

More Dinner Talk

This one is great. Toddler Boy wasn’t eating his dinner but wanted some chocolate. Surprise, surprise. My husband said, “Buddy, finish eating your chicken and you can have some chocolate.” A few minutes passed and Toddler Boy didn’t eat his chicken.

Toddler Boy: Can I has some chochit now?
Husband: No. Do you remember what I told you to do to get chocolate?
Toddler Boy (after an extended blank stare): Can I have chocit now?
Husband: No. What do you have to do to get chocolate?
This back-and-forth repeated several times.
Toddler Boy: Dada, you’re wasting my time. Just give me some chocit, please.

At least he said please.

Has your kid said anything crazy lately?