Don’t let the title scare you. I’m not getting into any schoolyard fights over my baby.  This week’s post is about my first experience advocating for my son in an educational setting.  I’m sure it won’t be my last experience, either.  No matter where our children go to school, it has become de rigueur for those parents who give a darn to have to stomp our feet a little to get what we think is necessary for our kids.  Now, I’m not talking about going to talk the teacher into changing your kid’s grade from a D to a B.  I’m talking about making sure they get the essential building blocks that most parents would deem necessary for learning.  Nothing more nothing less.  No helicopter parenting here, ladies and gentlemen.

As I said last week, we love the daycare that Charlie attends three days a week.  And we still love it.  But last week there was what I would call a blip.  Just a small one that has since been repaired.  Still, I thought it was worth sharing and I’m interested to hear what readers have to say about it.

When we first started at the day care, it was owned by a local woman who had grown up in the neighborhood where we live and whose parents were longtime business owners and lived right down the street.  She employed licensed and well-educated workers who were also from the neighborhood.  We loved the small-town feel of the place and that’s why we chose it.  However, the original owner was running the day care and working full time for the state agency that rates child care facilities.  It became too much for her and she decided to sell after Charlie had been there for about a month.  She sold to another woman who has a great deal of experience in running day care centers, as she already owns three other facilities, although she was not local to the area.  She held a meeting with all of the parents at our center just to introduce herself and answer any questions.  We were told that tuition would stay the same, as would the staff, the hours, and the flexible scheduling options they provided.  She even said we’d be getting a new playground and some much-needed work would be done on the building.  She told us not to worry; that everything would pretty much stay the same.  All the parents agreed that we were happy with the idea that little would change and that we’d get some new and improved amenities.

But change was certainly afoot when we received a memo last week saying that all children over the age of 1 would have to adhere to a strict uniform policy.  The memo also implied that it was preferred that parents purchase logo uniform items from the daycare at premium prices.  Such a plan is not cheap if you remember that the little kids have to have a couple changes of clothes on hand and  that they outgrow their clothes every couple of months.  I knew the uniform policy wouldn’t apply to Charlie for another few months, but I also knew I wouldn’t like it when he was a year old, so I chose to stand up with the majority of the parents at the center and express my opposition to the policy.

The cost was actually the last thing on my mind, even though it was definitely a downside to the plan.  I just couldn’t fathom why it was necessary to institute uniforms for small children!  The policy spoke of “suspensions” for those who broke the rules.  Suspensions – FOR TODDLERS! But what really got to me was the fact that this policy would rob my son of an important developmental lesson – picking out his clothes, learning how to get dressed, and how to dress appropriately for the weather – each and every day.  Part of development is learning how to negotiate those daily tasks that we all perform as adults without thinking much about them.  Additionally, it provides opportunities to teach a child about colors (“let’s wear the red shirt with the blue pants”), numbers (“how many socks do we have?”), and hygiene (“we can’t wear that sweater today because it’s dirty”).  And then there are the ideas of free expression and creativity.  Shouldn’t there be even a short period of time in a child’s life where tutus, dinosaur costumes, and mismatched outfits are acceptable schoolwear?  Isn’t part of the learning process the trial and error of wearing something unorthodox and seeing how your classmates react to it?

There were so many reasons why this policy was just not okay with me.  I know there is going to be a point in my child’s education where he is going to have to learn to conform in some way and I’m okay with that.  He may end up in a school that requires uniforms, but I’d prefer that he at least be school age before we have to worry about that.  I also know that there are some who believe that the way to instill discipline in a child is to squelch that creative spirit as early as possible and I’m not okay with that.  To me, this uniform policy was the first step towards an educational framework that I worried was designed to start that squelching.

I wrote a long, well-reasoned email to the owner of the daycare outlining all of the points I made above.  I wasn’t the only person to contact her although I might have been one of the calmer ones.  She was flooded with emails and voicemails within the first 24 hours of issuing the memo.  Three families gave their notice that they were pulling their kids out of the day care, which is a lot if you consider how small our facility is.  The day after the memo went out, she rescinded the policy in response to the overwhelming voice of the parents.  I harbor no ill-will about it.  In fact, I’m extremely happy that she acknowledged the opinions of the parents and adjusted her plans accordingly.  We do worry that this policy was indicative of an overall philosophy with which we do not agree, but for now, Charlie is happy with his amazing baby room teachers and we are happy to stay put.  I’m just glad that my first battle was relatively painless.

What was the first battle you fought in your child’s educational life?  What do you think about uniform policies for little kids or even school-aged kids?