Thanks to everyone who commented here, on Facebook, and in person about last week’s letter to Charlie.  I think I might write one every six months and print it out, so that he has a collection of them when he’s older.  Lately, I’ve just found myself thinking how honored I am to be Charlie’s mom.  I’m sure all of you parents out there can understand that feeling, even when your kid has just thrown himself on the floor in a fit of rage in aisle #2 in Target.  In “real life,” I can be a pretty loud, outspoken, controlling person.  But Charlie humbles me, forces me to stop and just listen, to see all the little things every day that are so awesome.  I’m still going to be my sarcastic self, but my son injects a very necessary dose of laughter and purity into my daily routine.  Now if he’d just stop growing so darn fast, everything would be perfect!

I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to write about this week before I saw this blog post over on BabyCenter.  I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the new mother who wrote the entry.  It seemed as if she was beating her self up over some pretty small “mistakes.”  Calling them “stupid things parents do” made me wince.  We all do things that might not fall precisely within the parameters of the recommendations given to us by experts, but to call our actions stupid or even to imply that we as parents are stupid seems a little more masochistic than I’d prefer to be.  One commenter to the blog post said she used to put her toddlers in high chairs and then put them on top of the table to keep them away from their siblings.  Okay, that one might be over the edge of what’s rational, but taking the insert out of a car seat is not.  And I can’t count how many times a very little Charlie took a long nap in a sitting position or on my chest.  At the time, I knew those things weren’t “recommended,” but I also knew that my son was sleeping peacefully and that I was getting some much needed time to re-charge, too.  There’s nothing stupid about that.

There are tons of things we’ve done with Charlie that probably aren’t kosher with the experts, but they’ve worked for him.  Food other than formula and breastmilk isn’t supposed to be introduced until six months of age, but Charlie started right at five months because he was fascinated with all things food-related.  He now eats homemade purees of apples, pears, sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, peas, and avocado like a champ.  No mistake, there.  Our guy has become a rolling maniac, but I still lay him down on our platform bed with a few toys while I get ready in the morning.  Could he roll off?  Maybe.  We will probably need to adjust this routine in the coming weeks as I can tell that some sort of pre-cursor to crawling is about to happen.  But I won’t beat myself up about what we’ve done so far.  Charlie naps in his co-sleeper, pack’n'play, car seat, stroller, swing, Ergo, and sometimes right next to me on our couch.  Basically everywhere but his crib.  He has also started sleeping on his stomach since gaining the ability to roll over on his own.  Here’s the thing, though – he SLEEPS.  Two naps a day and 10 hours at night.  I’m not about to mess with that!  I completely support breastfeeding as long as possible but we have started the weaning process with Charlie because of my work schedule and production issues.  It hasn’t phased Charlie at all.  Okay maybe I harbor a little guilt with this one, but Charlie is happy and healthy which is what matters most to me.

I’m sure there are many other things I could list that might be on the don’t list for parents, but I can’t remember them all because I don’t spend too much time beating myself up about those decisions.  When I was pregnant, the best piece of advice I got – from quite a few of my friends who are moms – was “make the decisions that are right for you and your baby and NEVER feel guilty about them.”  I’ve tried to put that advice into practice with Charlie, although I admit that sometimes it’s hard when so many factors in our society are designed to make mothers feel guilty about everything.  My wish for the mother who wrote the Baby Center blog and for every mother out there is that we can all find confidence in our parenting.  It’s not just about making ourselves feel better; it’s also about setting an example for our children!  I want Charlie to know his mommy stands behind her decisions and feels good about herself because those are qualities that I want Charlie to have in his own life, too.

Have you felt mom guilt?  When?  Why?  What did you do to get past it?