As of today, I am TERM! 37 Weeks. Any day now. The little dude inside me could come out right now and he’d be able to breathe, eat, and of course, poop all on his own. I have a viable little human being in there. I still can’t believe it.
When I was about 18 weeks pregnant, my husband and I went to dinner with some friends who were also expecting their first child. My friend Lisa was due just a month before me, and recently gave birth to a beautiful little boy. As we were sitting at that dinner, she asked me what I was most worried about. I replied that I wasn’t so much worried about anything as I was curious about what kind of little person I was growing in there. What would he look like? Whose personality would he mirror the most? Who would he grow up to be? After waxing poetic for a minute or so, I asked her the same question she’d just asked me. Her reply came without hesitation.
“Well, I’m just worried about how I’m going to get him out.”
Up until that point in my pregnancy, I had never even thought about labor. And to be quite honest, I didn’t think too much about it after my conversation with Lisa until I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. At that point, even though she still fully supported our plan for a vaginal birth, my OB reminded me that I would need to be flexible when the time came, in case our “big boy” needed to be delivered via c-section. Since then, I’ve had to consider what is most important to me in terms of how the little person growing inside of me enters this world.
I’ve gotten a lot of opinions, both solicited and not, about how I should look at the birth experience. I respect them all, especially those that come from the intelligent and thoughtful people that I call my friends. For some couples, the birth is a personal journey for the parents, and so they work very hard to come up with detailed birthing plans that will allow them to have the greatest experience possible. For others, labor and delivery is simply the medical procedure that a mother and father must endure in order to get to the end result: a healthy baby. I like to think that my goals for the birth of my son fall somewhere squarely in-between those two extremes. I would like for the story of our son’s birth to be one that my husband and I look back on with pride – a collection of moments that make us proud of our strength as both individuals and as a couple. But at the same time, I want to come out of this knowing that I never once put my own personal experience over the health and safety of my son.
We’ve opted to go into L&D with a list of preferences, but we won’t term it as a birth plan because we want the staff to know that we are willing to work with them if our son has needs that we haven’t anticipated. We’ve also decided against having a doula because we believe that a healthy dose of skepticism is okay, but in the end, our doctor and maternity nurse will help us make the right decisions about what to do. I know that both a plan and a doula can enhance the birth experience and I’m open to the idea of using them if we have a second child and I feel like I want a different experience the next time around.
But right now, as I finally get around to really thinking about “how I’m going to get him out?” I’m thinking that the best thing I can do as his mom is to just take it one moment at a time and promise him that I’ll do whatever is necessary to make sure he’s healthy. Knowing that I put him first from the very first contraction is the only birth story I’ll ever need.
Lisa
April 5, 2011Good luck! Get the epidural, and ask for it before you think you need it just in case it takes anesthesia a while to arrive. Oh, and remember that it’s not up to you, your little man will ultimately make the decision about how and when he arrives. I totally planned/expected to go to 40 weeks with my son, who was due 6/27/10. On 6/14/10, at a routine check-up w/one of my OB’s partners who I’d never met before (she was on vacation), my blood pressure was high and I was told to go to the hospital for a non-stress test. Though my BP came down and an ultrasound showed my fluid levels were fine, my liver enzymes were high and I was told I had to choice — I’d have to be induced. On our way out of the hospital to go home to get our stuff (since I was also told the induction would likely be a two-day process), my water broke. My son arrived 12 hours later, no induction needed.
Malia
April 5, 2011I think you have the PERFECT attitude, because it’s exactly the same as mine, lol. We thought my guy had a chance ofbeing too big too but I had an awesome nurse and doctor who helped me work at it until we got him out with a little bit of help from a suction cup. My nurse told me later she was site we’d need a c-section but she never let on. I learned later she’s one of their top nurses and my doc credits her and her calm non-c-section pushing attitude for allowing us a vaginal birth. I was completely ok with a c-section if needed, but after recovery was glad to not have the extra healing time.
Malia
April 5, 2011*sure not site. Grr iPhone.
Lindsay
April 5, 2011I think that having that attitude of flexibility will really help give you an awesome birthing experience. If you go in with plans and expectations, you’re running a very good chance of being disappointed.
I had a birthing plan, took the classes and was so ready to give birth naturally. Six days past my due date, I finally gave in to a c-section. Good thing I did! My baby was in a frank breech (feet and head up, butt down) and 9 pounds. There was NO WAY she could have come out vaginally on my own.
Thank goodness I finally let go of my “plans” and just did what was best for me and my baby!
Good luck!!
Laura
April 5, 2011Thank you to everyone for such supportive comments! I actually had a pow wow with my doctors today and we’ve been told that next week will be decision time as to whether or not this baby is getting too big. I’m worried and feeling a bit like a failure in many ways, but what I’m most upset about is that I’ve actually thought more about what some of our friends might say than what is best for our baby. It’s good to get outside perspectives by writing this column for The Shopping Mama. It helps me keep things in check. So thank you!!
Amanda
April 5, 2011At almost 2 weeks past my due date my wonderful bundle of joy finally graced us with his presence, after almost 24 hours of induced labor.
At 9lbs 7oz and 21 1/4 inches long, he was big, but I credit my midwives, for a positive experience through the delivery.
I was “mostly” prepared to deliver him via c-section had that decision been made after being told the day prior to the induction he was measuring at 10lbs but I am grateful that it worked out that I was able to deliver him vaginally.
No matter what, realize that the important thing is what works best for you and for your baby. Best of luck!
Gloria
April 5, 2011Good Luck!!! Your story sounds a little like me
I was had GD as well and I did have a “big boy” He was 10.4 lbs. I didn’t want a C either. I went in a while after my water broke and did get an epi untill his heart heart was dropping and I had to go in for a C.. all in all.. All i wanted was a healthy baby so no fighting it then! I wish you the best of luck!! When your holding your baby it wont matter how you delivered!
Melanie
April 5, 2011Ultimately, a healthy baby and mom are the #1 priority and the outcome everyone most strives for. I personally hate to see people induced ONLY when they do it to fit a personal schedule or due to personal discomfort. When your health is involved and baby’s, you have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself and him! For a first time mom, it’s especially tough making those decisions because it’s all new to you. I know how I felt when I was told I had/needed to be induced w/our first son when I had grand ideas of a perfect, natural, spontaneous birth. I was disappointed w/myself and I ended up making choices (like getting an epidural) in order to ease the labor on our son, because of fetal distress.
One little bit of advice for you that I did not know until having a different Dr. for our 2nd son. He recommended that if you are induced, to try to avoid having your water broken, as long as labor is progressing. Breaking the water lessens the natural “padding” baby has against the powerful pitocin-induced contractions, and when baby has no padding, he can be distressed, which also increases the likelihood for c-section.
Overall, have faith in yourself and your body! This is what we do! Remember to breathe and bring soothing music to the delivery room! If you’re laboring, it’s also nice if you have them turn the lights down a bit in the room, as it helps you relax more.
Don’t worry about what others will think of your birth – make the choices that you and your husband are most comfortable with and go with your gut. My most valuable lessen learned from my first baby was that other people’s opinions don’t matter. What matters most is the choice that is best for me and my baby – and that goes for after baby’s born too
Shannon Kelly
April 5, 2011I believe it was approximately this time in my pregnancy with my daughter that the same thought occurred to me…OMG, that’s going to hurt! I was two weeks late and had to be induced and, while there was talk of a c-section, we finally got her out with a little help from the suction cup. I have tiny babies that come “face up.” You just never know what’s going to happen and it’s good to open to all the possibilities that keep you and baby safe. Good luck!
Jen
April 5, 2011In the end all that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy momma no matter how the baby comes out
I vote epidural! I have had three children all over 8.5 lbs. Two with epidurals and one without one and honestly I do not remember much of his delivery and THAT is what is disappointing. I was in so much pain that my mind took me out of the moment. With my girls I sat back waited, greeted guests ect. Good luck!