As a former high school teacher the recent case involving the bullying and subsequent suicide of Phoebe Prince piqued my interest. While watching this story unfold, I longed to be in the classroom to discuss with my students the seriousness of the whole situation. The sad truth is this sort of thing happens all the time. Do most students go on to commit suicide, no. However, the saddest thing about this whole story is, the students doing the bullying really had no clue the damage they were doing to this poor girl. They might have even been able to say and do the exact same things to another student with no reaction at all from him or her. The temperament and emotional personality of the child being bullied is a big factor here as well.
Bullying 24/7/365
I am sure many of us remember being bullied, or even bullying ourselves, and even though it was still just as serious a topic 10 to 15 years ago (yes, I am showing my age!) there are certain aspects of high school life that have changed so dramatically that what was once simply mean behavior is now nothing short of harassment. The change? Well, it’s helping you read this right now – the internet. It is now possible for our children to be tormented 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
Think about it, when we were in school, if you wanted to communicate with another student in a negative or positive way, you had pretty much three options: talk to them at school, go to their house, or call their home phone (and potentially have to speak to an adult first). Now that students have computers, cell phones, they are instantly connected to everyone at all times. Not only are they able to be bullied via text, Facebook, Twitter, My Space, and other social media sites, but these all can be made fairly anonymous making an already cowardly, insecure bully (because they usually are the ones who are the most insecure) feel like they can write anything at all, without consequence.
When I taught, I also led a freshman group that discussed topics that students dealt with on a daily basis, and we discussed bullying. The students were fairly honest, posting to someone’s Facebook page in a negative way was simply easy, and they felt as if they couldn’t get in trouble because what could happen? Suspension from school? No, it’s not the school’s domain. Grounding from parents? Not likely, as few parents check up on their child’s social media connections (though I have a feeling this is changing-I hope).
Who is Responsible?
So that brings us back to the Phoebe Prince case. Who is ultimately responsible for her suicide? I can say this with certainty, whether or not she was bullied at school, it continued outside of school, and never left her wherever she went; that is the world that we live in today. To place blame solely on the school and staff seems a bit naive.
I look at my newborn daughter and I see that her cute little left ear that sticks out more than her right and wonder, will that be it? Will her darling little “flaw” be noticed by her peers, and will they choose to torment her for it? And how will she deal with it? Will I know if she is hurting?
So I ask you, what do you plan to do (or already do) to make sure your child isn’t bullied or bullying? Do you have a plan for how and when your child will use the internet, cell phone? I ask because I haven’t figured it out yet, and it terrifies me. Advice?
Photo credit: Jakub Krechowicz
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