* I started taking Toddler Boy to a mom’s morning out type program once a week when he was only 11 months old. I justified it to myself and others with the idea that he’d adjust well to being away from me and I’d get a much needed break.
* The administrator at Toddler Boy’s school reminded me (again) that they have a spot for Baby Girl in the baby room if I want to bring her to mom’s morning out once a week. I love the idea of a whole morning to myself with no kids once a week but I’m not sure I’m ready for her to go yet. Maybe when she turns one in a few months?
* Here’s the part that really has me thinking… I feel judged by other stay at home moms for taking my kid(s) to totally voluntary, elective programs before formal preschool. Like they’re thinking, “You chose to stay home with your kids and now you’re ditching them to be by yourself.”
I’m still having a hard time expressing what I’m thinking about this. How young is too young for mom’s morning out? Do you ever feel judged for the “school” / child care decisions you make?
**Update** I just returned from picking up my son from his first day of “school” – he’s in the older two year old room. I overheard one of the other moms saying, “I just don’t know if I can handle two days a week.” That’s when it hit me… I think my self-consciousness about this comes from the realization that I have absolutely no hesitation/worry/fear/sadness about sending my kid to preschool. I think my concern about being judged comes from wondering if I’m the weird mom.
I CAN handle two mornings a week without my son. (In fact, if the program offered 3 mornings, I’d probably send him.) Sure I miss him (and will undoubtedly miss my daughter when I start sending her to a morning out in a few months,) but I *like* my time away from them. It’s my chance to breathe, regroup, rest, blog, chat, drink coffee in peace and just be me.
Jess
September 1, 2009EVERYONE esp us SAHMs need a break we need time to ourselves period! Anyone who says they do not are nuts
tinygiraffeshop
September 1, 2009first off, i don't think your time 'off' is even a break. what do you usually do? i feel like whenever SAHMs get a 'break' we end up grocery shopping, cleaning, or something of that nature. forget the break aspect of it…don't feel guilty…it gives you a chance to get something done…in peace.
my 3 year old goes mornings, 3 days a week, and has done so since 20 months. it think we both need it. at this point, it's a blessing because it gives me some alone time w/ my 7 month old…until she's off to do 3 mornings a week as well!
Chelle
September 1, 2009Why do women feel the need to judge one another about everything? You know? I think it's crap that they say things about you taking your son. Just because we stay at home all day doesn't mean that it's filled with spa days, going to the movies with our girlfriends or catching up on a marathon of our favorite shows!
I'm so sorry, sweetie, and I wish I could give you a big hug!
wkiskizt
September 1, 2009I know it's hard not to feel judged, but really, what makes you and your kids function best is what you should do. I love having a break from my little boy, and he's only 6 months. Yes, I chose to be a SAHM – and right now, I'm jealous of my husband's job and my friends' schooling. It means they have more interaction, less small-person demands, more time to focus on themselves. If your son likes preschool, by all means, send him! And don't feel guilty! It will provide him with great social skills and fun being around other kids, and you know as well as I do (probably better than I do) that moms need a break. Once a day or five times a week or however often, I say make your decisions and don't be embarrassed by them. Just enjoy your free time!!
Sue
September 1, 2009I also don't understand why Mom's judge each other. We're all in the same boat so why not help each other out?
My son went to daycare 2 mornings a week at 17mths (I'm also a SAHM) for the socialization. He needed to be with kids his own age and he also needed to be with other adults besides me. I'm sure I was judged by other Moms and also Mom friends but I need to do what is right for us and not worry about what others say.
I think the time he spent in daycare did us both a world of good. Today was his first day at Pre-School and he did so well! He wasn't one of the kids who screamed and cried when we left. He was perfectly content and didn't even think twice about us leaving. So, who's child is more well rounded?
Just remember that you need to do what is right for you and your family!
Shannon
September 1, 2009Hey don't sweat it. Programs like that are great for kids. It socializes them, helps them know more about the world and gives mom a refresh period. I am reading a book right now called "Life on Planet Mom" and it talks specifically about this. I am putting my 28 month old in a one day a week MDO starting tomorrow. I can't afford both boys in it or I'd have my 16 month old in there too. I think it's good for them. I won't be alone because I'll have my youngest son but I think it will be good for him to have me to hisself for once!
Lori A.
September 2, 2009Do what's best for you and your family. Although I was "sad" to send my kids off to preschool, I enjoyed every moment of the alone time. We shouldn't feel guilty for that.
I don't necessarily agree with a SAHM/D putting their kids in a daycare type setting every day all day…I mean, what's the point of staying home then? But a couple of hours a couple of days a week? Are they enjoying it? Are they happy? Then why not.
People who have an outside job get two 15 minute breaks and a lunch break…is this really ALL that different?
Anonymous
September 2, 2009My daughter started official pre-school at 2 years 9 months. This is her third year of Pre-school and I wouldn't change it for the world!! It is so good for her to be away from me, meet new people, and learn new things! Plus, it makes me a heck of a lot more patient when I have some time to myself. If I would have known about a program similar to yours I would have done it in a heartbeat! You aren't a weird mom, you are well-adjusted. And your kids will be too!
katy
September 4, 2009You do what you feel is best for you and your family. It's good to have time away for both mommy and baby sometimes IMHO. To each their own.
sito50
September 4, 2009Back 50 years ago, Kindergarten was intended as the year to get kids socialized and be ready to go without Mom and Dad for a few hours. Now, they're expected to have that skill in 4K already.
I bet your son would miss it if you took him out, and he's learning things about getting along with a variety of other personalities and respecting adults beyond his parents. He probably comes home filled with news about what happened and what he did while he was gone.
It's good for you; it's good for him. Don't worry about it, I say.