* I started taking Toddler Boy to a mom’s morning out type program once a week when he was only 11 months old. I justified it to myself and others with the idea that he’d adjust well to being away from me and I’d get a much needed break.
* The administrator at Toddler Boy’s school reminded me (again) that they have a spot for Baby Girl in the baby room if I want to bring her to mom’s morning out once a week. I love the idea of a whole morning to myself with no kids once a week but I’m not sure I’m ready for her to go yet. Maybe when she turns one in a few months?
* Here’s the part that really has me thinking… I feel judged by other stay at home moms for taking my kid(s) to totally voluntary, elective programs before formal preschool. Like they’re thinking, “You chose to stay home with your kids and now you’re ditching them to be by yourself.”
I’m still having a hard time expressing what I’m thinking about this. How young is too young for mom’s morning out? Do you ever feel judged for the “school” / child care decisions you make?
**Update** I just returned from picking up my son from his first day of “school” – he’s in the older two year old room. I overheard one of the other moms saying, “I just don’t know if I can handle two days a week.” That’s when it hit me… I think my self-consciousness about this comes from the realization that I have absolutely no hesitation/worry/fear/sadness about sending my kid to preschool. I think my concern about being judged comes from wondering if I’m the weird mom.
I CAN handle two mornings a week without my son. (In fact, if the program offered 3 mornings, I’d probably send him.) Sure I miss him (and will undoubtedly miss my daughter when I start sending her to a morning out in a few months,) but I *like* my time away from them. It’s my chance to breathe, regroup, rest, blog, chat, drink coffee in peace and just be me.
Debbie
September 4, 2009Stay at home moms have the stereotype of sitting home watching tv and eating bon-bons, but seriously, we really don't get "breaks" like people who work the typical 9-5 jobs. Our job is 24-7, and like tinygiraffeshop said, our breaks are pretty much just catching up on household duties. I think you putting your son, and soon your daughter, into "school" is a great idea. I wish they did something like that where I live. Sometimes I feel guilty when I have my husband watch the kids for me so I can go have some "me time", but it's really just silly for me to feel that way. I work hard, and I deserve a break sometimes too. I need to take the time to be Debbie, not Mommy. I am a much better mom when I take care of myself emotionally and mentally, and I enjoy being with my kids so much more when I am in that good mindset. Don't stress about what other people think about you. Everyone has different children, and different problems, and can't possibly know what you deal with everyday. I think you are doing what is best for you and your family, and that's all that matters!
Liz
September 9, 2009You need a break sometimes and I say "take it." I work full-time out of the house and my husband is a SAHD. I need time for me, bit feel bad about asking him to take on the kids solo for even longer AND for not spending all of my free time with them.
I don't think there's ever a right answer!
Sue M
March 26, 2010We have a “Time Out for Moms” program at our church that, while I didn’t take advantage of it, I *totally* get, especially if you don’t have retired family near by to help out when kid #2 comes along. The upside of the consistency is the the child is accustomed to it, and you can plan doctor’s appointments and such based on knowing that time slot is an easy option. My son is in half-day PM Kindergarten, and I intentionally put his 3 y.o. sister in PM preschool rather than AM just so I would get two hours, twice a week, to breathe after staying home the last almost 5 years. You can argue that taking your young ones shopping only introduces them to the germs on the shopping carts, etc. There’s a long list of reasons why it’s GOOD to have the break.